Building friendships, organizing events, or putting yourself out there in a new community takes courage. And sometimes—despite the best intentions—it just doesn’t go to plan.
Maybe people cancel.
Maybe you mix up the time.
Maybe your partner isn’t totally on board.
Maybe when you think about going you feel, “Do I even want to be here?”
A lot of us have been there. I'm sure very recently, in fact.
The Night That Went Sideways
Picture this, an intimate fun Mumma weekend evening filled with fun activities planned in your home. In your head, it was going to be joyful, full of laughs, bonding —a chance to really connect and unwind with a new group.
Instead…
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You shared the wrong time.
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So someone showed up at that wrong time.
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You had last-minute cancellations.
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You felt wobbly afterwards and unsure if you even wanted to do this anymore.
- The food you made was not up to your high expectations, the cake you brought fell splat on the floor
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You had disagreements with your partner, which threw you off before people even arrived.
- Your childcare support fell through
Basically:
It. All. Went. Wrong.
And yet…
Did it actually all go wrong?
Let's break down what do we do when things don’t go the way we imagined? And despite all the hiccups reflect on how and why this is actually a positive experience.
Ten Mindset Shifts for When Everything Feels Like It’s Going Wrong
| Don’t Take It Personally | The truth is people rarely cancel because of you. Bedtimes happen. Energy levels drop. Life gets heavy. Remind yourself their “no” is not a rejection of your value. It’s usually logistics, timing, or bandwidth. |
| Treat Every Mishap as Feedback | If you can zoom out, every “wrong turn” gives you data. Was the timing right? Was the activity too vulnerable for a first meet-up? Did people need an easier first step, like a coffee or walk? You’re not failing—you’re learning what your community truly needs. |
| Plan Events in a Way That Feels Good | If everything falls through—no shows, cancellations, plans unravelling—make sure you still get something out of it. A catch-up with a friend, exploring somewhere new, a bit of exercise, or simply getting out of the house. When the event fills your cup too, it’s never wasted. |
| Create a Small “Core Crew” | These are the moms who: Will stick to the plan. Give you honest feedback. Won’t leave you hanging. Become the backbone of future events. Even 2–3 reliable people make a huge difference. When the wider group fluctuates (as it always will), you still have a baseline of connection and momentum. |
| People Respect Brave Characters | Putting yourself out there isn’t easy. When something flops, you can either retreat—or refine. Choosing to refine makes you a community builder. |
| Look for Future Opportunity Signals | Just because something didn’t work this time doesn’t mean it was the wrong idea. Often it’s just timing, format, or comfort levels. Treat it as a test run—gather insight, build trust, adjust the plan. There’s almost always future potential, and often the magic happens on the second or third try. |
| Look for the Moments of Appreciation | Even when plans go awry, small moments of kindness shine through: a “Thanks for organising this,” a message saying, “I loved the idea I'll do that in future,” or a friend showing up despite being tired. These often reminders of genuine appreciation that show your effort is seen and valued, and that community is forming, even if slowly. |
| Celebrate your Self-Awareness and Development | Notice your own growth through the process. How did you handle rejection, adapt when plans changed, or resolve conflicts? Each challenge strengthens your resilience, patience, and empathy. Every messy, imperfect event becomes an opportunity for self-development, shaping you into a calmer, wiser, and more understanding person. |
| New Beginnings Bloom | Notice what bloomed from the experience: a new place discovered, a fresh interaction, or a lesson learned about yourself or someone else. A deeper connection. Even when plans go wrong, growth, connection, and discovery can emerge in unexpected ways. Celebrate these small wins—they are the hidden gifts of imperfect moments. |
| A Moment in Time | Cherish the memory—a snapshot of a moment in time. Even if the event didn’t go perfectly, it will some hold some laughter, effort, connection, and growth. It so easy just to focus on the negativs. These moments become stories to remember, reminders of courage, and little treasures |
So don't sweat it!
Even when things go wrong, there’s growth, connection, and discovery. Each “failed” plan teaches resilience, reveals small joys, and uncovers new opportunities. Cherish the effort, the lessons, and the memories—they show that imperfect moments can still be meaningful, shaping both your community and yourself.
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